Random dining rants

For the past year and a half, I’ve paid very close attention to each and every dining experience so that I might provide a more accurate description to share with whoever might be reading my blog. In the process, I’ve noticed certain similarities that pop up again and again, forcing me to squinch up my face in disbelief and say “Really?”

For example, since I selected Thursday as my cheat night, John and I can’t help noticing that nobody goes out to eat on Thursday nights in this town. Nine times out of ten, we practically have the restaurant to ourselves. This is good to know for all you romantics out there, want some privacy so you can smooch, flirt etc. with your significant other in a semi-public setting? Try Thursdays.

Another quirk is a server’s uncanny knack of asking “How is everything?” when your mouth is full of food. I am 98% sure they do that on purpose. What else can you do but nod your head like a moron while you finish chewing your bite? I wonder how a server would react if I opened my mouth next time and answered?

Also, why is it that unless you are dining in a Japanese restaurant, it is practically impossible to have your tuna cooked rare in this town? I won’t order it anymore, but John seems to be determined. Even more amazing is that the server asks him how he wants it cooked and it still comes out overdone.  Personally, I think if tuna isn’t practically raw in the center, then all the flavor of the fish is lost, similar to a good cut of steak.  I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but if you order steak well done, you might as well eat your wallet.  It will taste the same and waste the same amount of money.

This next annoyance is all me…I’ll admit it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still whine about it. Why is it that almost every time I dine at a fantastic restaurant, I leave my doggie bag on the table?  It’s like I’m unconsciously punishing myself for indulging.

Here’s a good one, although this hasn’t happened to me but once or twice, I’ve heard stories from several other diners complaining about the “assumed” tip.  Example:  You receive your bill for $30.89 and drop $40 in cash into the black leather envelope.  Your server saunters over, picks up the bill, glances inside and asks “Do you want change?” Talk about subtle! “Yes I want my damned change!  It’s up to me how much your tip will be and it just got a whole lot smaller.”

Is that too harsh?

Finally, since these dining adventures I relate are all “cheats”, meaning that I eat fairly boring food for the rest of the week, it is an extra-special disappointment when the food I wait all week for . . .well . . . sucks.  Sometimes you pay the price for trying something new.  It’s easy to see how people find an eatery they love and stick with it.  They never go anywhere else because they can’t be sure they’ll get a great meal.  Would you find it boring if I wrote about eating at my favorite restaurant over and over and over again?  I could go through the entire menu several times if that helps?  You would get bored?  You sure?  Can’t blame a girl for trying.