I have this crazy obsession, this overwhelming compunction and it’s starting to worry me. All of my friends know about it, they’ve heard me mention it hundreds of times and I’ve even blabbered about it to my family back in California.
When the levees failed, I searched everywhere for it and was in a constant state of panic and disarray until I found it again. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend has become inflicted with the same undeniable urge too and there is nothing I can do about it. When I have it, he has to have it.
My name is Kim and I am a Toasted Almond Cool Brew junkie.
You think I’m joking? If I see people at the checkout counter buying Cool Brew, I am compelled to initiate a conversation because there is a kinship between us users, us consumers. I feel compelled to extol its virtues to anyone who will listen. If I could afford it, I would buy out the stock every time I see it in the store.
The other day, I harassed a poor young man stocking the milk section at Rouses.
Toasted Almond Cool Brew was the ONLY reason I had stopped at Rouses. When I had reached the milk section, I was dismayed to discover that Decaf Cool Brew was all that was left and the bottles had been pushed aside and knocked over. Obviously, some anxious caffeine junkie that had arrived before me was searching for more.
I almost walked out of the store in a seething fit of rage, when I noticed an employee behind me with a large cart full of boxes stacked six or seven high. The flavor I wanted was the very last box he checked at the very bottom of his cart. We found Mocha,Vanilla and Hazelnut, but I made him keep looking till he finally found it, the Holy Grail of concentrated coffee flavors, Toasted Almond Cool Brew.
In case I haven’t already mentioned it (and I wouldn’t be surprised if I have) I will share with you my recipe for the ultimate caffeinated beverage perfect for a steamy New Orleans morning:
Squeeze an ounce of Toasted Almond Cool Brew coffee over several cubes of ice in a tall glass and add just enough water to fill the glass halfway. Then fill the rest of the glass with the thickest chocolate milk you can find. Brown’s chocolate milk is perfect for this concoction, but I have also found alternatives like soy that are lower in fat (I am on a diet!), but still possess that thick, creamy consistency I require. Stir in one packet of Equal and voila!
If I am feeling naughty, I squirt a dollop of whipped cream on top..
I know this must all sound crazy but I’m sure I’m not alone. There are others out there with my addiction, others who buy out the stock before I can manage to purchase two small bottles each week. Those others also try to hide Toasted Almond behind the other flavors, but I am on to all their tricks and I can still manage to acquire just enough to get us through.
Now if I could only figure out who’s eating all the Pepperidge Farm’s Brussels cookies.